Oh great and noble New Tribe basic climbing saddle, size medium, I gaze upon your worn-out and thread-bare webbing and realize that your time has come -- today I retire thee and switch thou five screwgate carabiners, thou only autolocking carabiner, thou swivel, thou spare delta screw link, thou Figure-8 descender, thou zippered pouch, thou small line mug, thou extra 12-ounce throwbag, and thou first aid kit to a new saddle. Thou shall now rest forever (or something like that) in a revered spot in the rear of my gear closet. I thank thee for 2,253 excellent climbs in these 14 years (Dang! I was supposed to retire this thing FOUR years ago), in all manner of trees from the giant coast redwoods of northern California to the monstrous wild nutmegs and ceibas of the Central American rainforests, from the stubby Ponderosa pines and quaking aspens of the Rockies to the ancient tupelos and baldcypresses of the Southeastern swamps, from the .... (Well, most of you get the point by now.) Thou has been dragged through mud, mangrove swamps, poison ivy patches, up mountain slopes and (only once) through a pile of black bear scat. Thou has earned this rest, so sleep well old friend...!

Wow.

Bill, you should consider bronzing it!
-AJ